In-the-Moment Nervous System Support Series: Part 3: What Actually Helps During a Spiral

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What actually helps during spiraling is often much smaller and less dramatic than people expect.

Many people try to stop spiraling by forcing themselves to calm down immediately. But when your body is already highly activated, this can create even more frustration. The brain interprets the inability to “fix” the feeling quickly as further evidence that something is wrong.

Instead of asking:

“How do I make this disappear right now?”

it can sometimes help to ask:

“How do I make this moment slightly more manageable?”

That shift matters.

The goal during a spiral does not need to be perfect calm. The goal is reducing escalation. Sometimes this means helping yourself experience even a small increase in steadiness or safety.

Sometimes this means lowering stimulation instead of continuing to consume information. Putting the phone down. Stepping away from researching online. Dimming the lights. Sitting outside for a few minutes. Holding something cold. Focusing on one concrete task instead of ten imagined future outcomes.

For others, it may mean reducing internal pressure. Reminding yourself that you do not need to solve every uncertainty tonight. That you are allowed to pause. That your body may need support before your mind can regain perspective.

Usually people think more clearly after the panic comes down a notch. Not before. Not because the problem disappeared, but because the brain is no longer operating entirely from survival mode.

One reason spiraling can feel so defeating is because people often assume that if a coping skill does not immediately “work,” they must be doing something wrong. But regulation is rarely linear. Sometimes grounding helps quickly. Other times, the nervous system is so overloaded that even supportive strategies may feel irritating, inaccessible, or ineffective at first.

This does not necessarily mean you are failing. It may simply mean your system is overwhelmed.

During highly activated states, it can help to think less in terms of “fixing” yourself and more in terms of creating small interruptions in the spiral. Tiny moments of reduced intensity still matter. A brief moment where your shoulders unclench, your breathing slows slightly, or your thoughts become marginally less frantic still matters.

People often overlook these smaller shifts because they are searching for complete relief. But nervous systems frequently stabilize gradually, not all at once.

This is also why it is important to approach yourself with less hostility during spiraling moments. Many people become angry with themselves for “being irrational,” “overreacting,” or “doing this again.” Unfortunately, shame usually makes things worse instead of helping them settle.

The reality is that spiraling is usually not a sign of weakness. More often, it’s a sign that your system has exceeded its current capacity for stress, uncertainty, stimulation, or emotional load.

That does not make spiraling easier. But it does mean this is probably not a moment for self-punishment.

If this topic feels familiar or relevant in your life, you don't have to face it alone. We're here to support you. We encourage you to reach out by phone, email, or through the contact form on this site.